Coming to the end of myself:part 2

Going in to this journey of "coming to the end of myself", I thought it was all about depending on God for all of my physical needs.  But today I am realizing another aspect of this journey, which is allowing God to hold my tender heart as I put the relationships that God has blessed me with, into His hands. With tears in my eyes I write this note. Through high school I kind of prided myself in being able to not let people get close, but shortly after high school  broken and lonely, not really knowing who I was, God showed His love in such a great way by bringing some amazing people in my life. The past four years I have always felt like someone has known me deeply, some have come and gone but I have never felt alone. But now I am about to say good bye and move 2,000 miles away for the people who God put in my life the years that mean sooooo much to me.  People who pushed me to place I never thought I would be able to go, people who listened and were patient with me when I didn't know what to say, people who encouraged me to move in some of giftings God has put in me. I have to say goodbye to the most beautiful baby girl that I have spent 15 hours a week with for the past 8 months. I will miss her learning to walk and talk. I have to say good bye to the best black lab ever.  I just never really thought all of this would be nearly this hard, but it is, and I know it's just going to get harder as I continue to get ready to leave. But I am giving God my tender heart, it's hurts, it's scary, but I know God is so good and I am excited to see who God brings into my life in this next step in my journey.   So all that to say, I value the people God has put in my life immensely and I am going to miss everyone more than you could imagine.  Thank you, everyone for allow God to use you to show His love in my life.

update on BSSM: coming to the end of myself

So here is a little up date on BSSM. Last week I was able to reach my half way mark of raising my tuition, which puts me at a place where I am able to start school, and will have the rest due after school starts. This really excites me, but at the same time I am very very nervous. School starts in less than 1 month and I am hoping to head out there a week or two early. Everything is coming so quickly, and there is still some big needs and things that still need to come together.
The first big need is a vehicle, I am blessed right now to have a car that has gotten me through this summer, but is in no shape to make it the 2,000 mile trip to Redding. This is a huge need, and honestly it seems quite impossible to me, but I know I have a big big God, and nothing is impossible for Him. : ) Please be praying for me on this one.
My second need is a job. I need a job that covers my living expences. I have been on the job hunt through the internet for the past month or so, and have a few leads.  Please pray that God brings the right job.
My third need is housing. I have contacted a few possibilities, but most have not worked out.  I am waiting to here back from one possible home but it might be full. Please pray that if this is the right place, that it would work out, and if it's not, that the Lord would show me something else.
One of the things I heard the Lord say to me in the past few months, was that this journey to BSSM would bring me to the end of myself, which is where He came begin. And honestly it is so so so SCARY!! I have these needs that are way beyond me, I am coming to a place where I have nothing else but Him. So I just ask that you would pray, and pray big time. This is such a scary place for me, there is peace in this place, but it is scary. Last night I was at a prayer meeting at River of Life, and as I was praying and just asking God what in the world He is doing, the band was playing Healing by Hillsong. The words they were playing at that very moment were "Nothing is impossible for You You hold my world in Your hands" which as you might imagine really stuck out to me. Nothing is impossible for Him, He holds MY world in His hands. I love that is says He holds MY world in His hands. Sometimes it's so hard to know that He indeed holds MY world. Anyway, those were just the words I need to hear, and I believe He was speaking to me. So please please be praying for me, and if God tugs at your heart to help me in anyway, please let me know. God bless you.