Who am I? Where am I am? & What am I doing here?

Who am I? Where am I am? &  What am I doing here?
    Those are the questions on my heart right now. Yeah, yeah, I know "all the right answers". Honestly though, this last 12 months have been some of the most confusing months ever.
    Almost everyday I just want to get in my car and head back to Redding. Back to the place where almost everyday I am told who I am and what I am created to do. I was being that person and was doing those things. So I spend three years there.  I come back to the place I love...or I thought I did.  I thought I was ready to pack up and come back. Now I am not even sure if I was "ready".  What does ready look like anyway??  I find myself realizing that it was so much more scary to pack up and and move to a city 2,000 miles away, to spend a year with 1,000 other students I never met, then to come back "home" to where I grew up.   I thought I had those questions (Who am I? Where am I am? &  What am I doing here? ) answered, but now I don't even know.
So now what??? Well it's time to to strengthen myself in the Lord. It's time to ask the Lord what He wants to do in me and through me HERE. Where I am now.

Well over 100 day later...

Well that didn't go so great. It's over 100 days later. The goals and ambitions I set, I failed horribly at. A week or so after posting my 100 day goals I found myself at one of my lowest places ever. And on top of that my computer charger died, and it took over a month to get a new one, so I couldn't even blog to let you know what was up. How could I go from being so motivated to change myself to not even being motivated to get out of bed in the morning?? How?? Just how does that work? I am feeling a lot better know. And wanting to get motivated again, but what if that happens again???It's probably a silly fear... But at the same time I can't stay the way I am. It is a horrible feeling to know I am living below what God has called me to be. So as of tonight, I am choosing to start walking in my destiny. One step, by one little step. First step this week. I am going to start journaling. And with that my goal is the blog once a week. I think it's so important for me to be recording what God is speaking to me, so that is were I am going to start.